The Madman With A Starship And The Girl With A Souffle
by LostInTheMiddle
Summary: A captain, a souffle girl, a group of hostile aliens, a starship, a Time Lord, a ledge, a dangerous adventure and a confession to make. What could possibly go wrong?
1. Chapter 1 The ledge

A/N : I just saw an awesome piece of Clirk art with the words Who are you? A madman with a starship? And it just won't leave my head. Oh, all of you who prefer sad endings, just read chapter 1. Those who prefer happy endings, read on for the super-short chapter 2.

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"Are we going to get out of this in one piece?" It's difficult to speak at the speed she's running, but worth the try, anyway.

"In one piece? Alive would be good enough." Does every single away mission have to end like this? The negotiations had gone well at first - yes, we will join the Federation, yes, we will supply you with dilithium, no, we will not ally with the Klingons. It turned out that they already had, and now Captain James Tiberius Kirk and Clara Oswald were running for their lives through a labyrinth of tunnels, not even stopping to catch their breath.

Jim hoped that one day he will be able to take her on a date without having to save the universe, stop a couple of intergalactic wars or, like now, run away from a group of none too friendly aliens. It seemed that that was what she was born for - to support those unlucky sods who owned nothing but a starship and the whole wide universe. She had literally fallen out of the sky one day, that blue box with its' strange small crew. And she had been there ever since, not missing a single mission or alpha shift, inspecting every square inch of the Enterprise, always there when Spock's droning, McCoy's grumbling or simply the duties of a captain became a little bit too much. And now, it seemed, they might as well finish together. He really wished the mission had gone well.

Clara just could not help wondering that her life had been pretty much like this ever since a certain mad alien turned up on her doorstep in the costume of a monk. Soon after the soul-eating sun, the Russian submarine and the metal army came another madman, nothing like the first. The only common thing? Both had their awesome spaceship, both thought that planet Earth just wasn't enough. And both were screaming mad. You wouldn't say that about Jim at first. You might think that, being Starfleet`s youngest captain, he would be devoted to his job, one of those underage geniuses who never got a life. If he had, she wouldn't be running for her life right now. But Clara couldn't mind less. She stumbled, abruptly, and he caught her. They had arrived on a ledge, so small they could hardly stand, so high the fall would be longer than the aftermath. And their pursuers were gaining on them, a bit too fast for either's liking.

"Well, miss Oswald," scared but laughing at the same time. Who could tell with Jim Kirk? "I can offer you a wide choice today. We can get turned into a cross between a pin cushion and a frying pan, or we could just..." he nods towards the ledge.

"I'd prefer the latter." She grasps his hand a little tighter. What are you meant to say at this sort of time? The way he always imagined confessing, they would be on a romantic little planet in a romantic little cafe, and he would be holding her hand, just like now, but the ledge won't be there. A little ring would.

She should have known this would happen. She did, in a way. Yet she ignored it. And here she was, pursued by aliens who won't exactly let her live that long, hand-in-hand with a someone who is a bit more than simply special. And they were about to jump.

"Bye Enterprise!" He screams into the sky above him, hoping the ship can hear her captain.

"Thanks Doctor!" She calls out, wondering if the Time Lord can hear his companion. Then they turn to each other.

"There's something I wanted to tell you... Didn't have much time running away from these bastards..."

"I think I was planning to tell you the same thing. So...we're sorted?" That's when the ledge gives way under their feet.


	2. Chapter 2 The confession

They fall, hard, on the transporter room floor. Apparently the creatures have taken the time to spray them with arrows, a cut on Jim's forhead and a graze on Clara's arm being the least of their worries on that ledge. And there are people all around them, scowling, reprimanding, laughing, celebrating.

"You had to jump off that damned rock, Jim? And drag the girl with you? What did you think you were, Julio and Romiet?"

"I believe you meant Romeo and Juliet, doctor. As for you, captain, I must tell you that the risk was completely unnecessary..."

"Okay, okay, the kids have learned their lesson. Main thing's you're still alive, aye? An achievement I am very proud of myself."

"You should be, sir. If it ain't for your wee green penny..."

"It's a sonic screwdriver, Mr. Scott, learn your terms!" "Aye still think it's a pen."

"Stop it, everyone! And Mr. Chekov, if you go on jumping like that you'll jump a hole in my ship and I certainly don't want that to happen!" Sometimes his crew gives him a headache. But they're the best crew in the Fleet.

Jim can't help feeling slightly jealous when he sees the Doctor carefully wrap his precious Clara in a blanket like a Christmas present and half-lead, half-carry her to the medbay, "just in case". Thanks to Bones, Jim follows soon after.

It's really warm in the captain's quarters that night. But they still huddle close, like scared children. She's nearly asleep, lazily watching his fair hair glint in the faint light through nearly closed eyelids. He's tracing the outline of her nose with his eyes, trying to decide if she would wake up if he did the same with a finger. There's something he wants to tell her, bad. But he can't shake off the feeling she already knows. Still, it's worth a try.

"Love you, Clara" he whispers.

"Love you too, Jim" she mumbles back.


End file.
